35 Reasons Expat Moms Crave Coffee
Today is International Coffee Day but for expat moms, every day is international coffee day. Here are some reasons why expat moms really crave coffee—the sweet nectar of sanity.
1. Because it took you 8 minutes to translate the “crucial” information posted on your children’s whiteboard at preschool
2. Cause sometimes tea just won’t cut it
3. Because it’s early and your child is giggling and shouting a new local word she just learned and you’re not sure if it’s a swear word or not
4. Cause a local mom invited you to her child’s birthday party and you think you accepted although you’re not sure if parents are expected to stay, leave, bring presents, eat cake, or none or possibly all of the above
5. Cause baking a local recipe required 5 conversions, 2 substitutions, and 7 minutes of translation
6. Because you woke up early to catch a plane to get your child’s passport
7. Cause you need caffeine to manage driving on the other side of the road and figure out those massive multi-lane roundabouts
8. Cause your host country language skills have already been corrected by your three-year-old—and it’s not even 8 am
9. Cause you need to drink something until it’s socially acceptable to drink wine (wine o’clock)
10. Cause 3 expat friends invited you for coffee at different times and you’re too afraid to lose any friends so you accept all three dates
11. Cause International Wine Day isn’t today (it’s on May 25 in case you needed an excuse)
12. Cause you just spoke to your child’s teacher for several minutes outside the gates and you still don’t know what’s going on there
13. Because you thought you were buying meat for tonight’s family dinner only to realize it’s meant for dogs
14. Cause coffee is virtually the same word in every country. Like us, it’s international: coffee, koffie, café, kahve etc.
15. Cause coffee is still the best tool in your anti-jet-lag toolbox
16. Cause you still don’t know what all of those icons on the washing machine mean so you keep putting it on the only setting that doesn’t shrink your clothes
17. Because you signed a school permission slip but you’re not sure what you gave permission for…
18. Cause driving in your country requires a special license that requires 3 months of study and over $1500
19. Because it might be the only drink you know how to order in a foreign country
20. Cause it’s the safest way to drink the local water
21. Because a casual coffee is a great way to meet other expats and you’re desperate to make friends
22. Cause the language of coffee is universal
23. Because you’ve just pulled 3 kids on a sled to school
24. Because you want to add to your International Starbucks mug collection
25. Cause you just found out what the word for head lice is in a new language
26. Because we might be on the wrong planes, trains, and automobiles without it
27. Cause dealing with tantrums in multiple languages has frayed your last nerve
28. Because you want to stay up for your Skype call with your friends on a 7-hour time zone difference and you had an exhausting day raising your cross-cultural kid
29. Cause taking all the wonderful European public transportation with toddlers is exhausting
30. Because even though it’s 5 o’clock somewhere, it’s only 8 am for you and you’ve gotta get through this day somehow
31. Cause you are so jet lagged that you can’t even remember what time you’re supposed to be awake
32. Cause coffee isn’t off-limits to pregnant women in many countries (Sweden, Norway, Finland, Denmark, France, and others)
35. But honestly? Because you woke up
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